All in growth

Pearl, Ethel and Mabel

Pearl, Ethel and Mabel

Crystal Olp
identity, growth, women

I looked down and there they were, Pearl, Ethel and Mabel. I had noticed their cousins on other women a bit older than I, but NEVER did I think they would decide to move in with me!!! Truth be told, Pearl and Ethel have been with me in their soft, gel form since the birth of my oldest. I know many women who would give their first born to have a rack like this, but honestly, it is SUPER inconvenient! T-shirts are difficult to find because the fabric is taut from crest to crest and the rest is baggy. Button up shirts can’t contain them either. Turns out, loose tunics are your friend. Pearl and Ethel have slowly been racing for my bellybutton most of their adult life. I’m not sure when Mabel arrived, but she must’ve moved in sometime in the last five years. I did not invite Mabel. One day I just looked down and there she was. A VERY happy camper attached to my midsection! What the ……!!!!!! My calorie count has not increased. My exercise minutes have stayed the same or even increased. Where, or where did she come from?

Where Did SHE Go?

Where Did SHE Go?

Crystal Olp
playing, found, growth

Like a rubber band pulled too tightly, I could feel the snap happen before it manifested with my standing up and walking out of the girl friend’s dinner party. Reaching the little black thing, I dropped inside as the hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I was not one of them, no matter how hard I tried, I was not. I was supposed to be a leader, but I was not! Now, I had just made a final move to remove myself from this group. I hadn’t planned for it to be dramatic like this, but my insides were combusting and I just couldn’t do it one moment longer. It wasn’t any of them individually, it was just collectively something happened when we were all together. Maybe it was when one of them said, “We already know your trauma and story. Let’s move on!” Maybe it was all the small talk about things I just didn’t care about and didn’t want to participate in. Maybe it was because I was a high functioning autistic person? Who knows? What I do know was that everything changed in that moment.