Pearl, Ethel and Mabel

Pearl, Ethel and Mabel

Crystal Olp
identity, growth, women

I looked down and there they were, Pearl, Ethel and Mabel. I had noticed their cousins on other women a bit older than I, but NEVER did I think they would decide to move in with me!!! Truth be told, Pearl and Ethel have been with me in their soft, gel form since the birth of my oldest. I know many women who would give their first born to have a rack like this, but honestly, it is SUPER inconvenient! T-shirts are difficult to find because the fabric is taut from crest to crest and the rest is baggy. Button up shirts can’t contain them either. Turns out, loose tunics are your friend. Pearl and Ethel have slowly been racing for my bellybutton most of their adult life. I’m not sure when Mabel arrived, but she must’ve moved in sometime in the last five years. I did not invite Mabel. One day I just looked down and there she was. A VERY happy camper attached to my midsection! What the ……!!!!!! My calorie count has not increased. My exercise minutes have stayed the same or even increased. Where, or where did she come from?

Where Did SHE Go?

Where Did SHE Go?

Crystal Olp
playing, found, growth

Like a rubber band pulled too tightly, I could feel the snap happen before it manifested with my standing up and walking out of the girl friend’s dinner party. Reaching the little black thing, I dropped inside as the hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I was not one of them, no matter how hard I tried, I was not. I was supposed to be a leader, but I was not! Now, I had just made a final move to remove myself from this group. I hadn’t planned for it to be dramatic like this, but my insides were combusting and I just couldn’t do it one moment longer. It wasn’t any of them individually, it was just collectively something happened when we were all together. Maybe it was when one of them said, “We already know your trauma and story. Let’s move on!” Maybe it was all the small talk about things I just didn’t care about and didn’t want to participate in. Maybe it was because I was a high functioning autistic person? Who knows? What I do know was that everything changed in that moment.

Don't Be A Zit on the Face of God

Don't Be A Zit on the Face of God

Crystal Olp
spiritual growth

Like melted fake Velveeta cheese, her words stuck to my soul and no amount of SOS or scraping seemed to get them to leave. My frustration was mounting. So, I did the only thing that I knew to do and I’ve sat with them, asking my Creator for truth; resolution; and a plan. She was from one church and I was from another and there were unbelieving observers. Both of our end goals were the same, so I wasn’t sure what the “issue” really was. I chatted some more with God. His final answer was, “Don’t be zits on my face!” Now that may seem odd or even funny to some of you, but truly it stopped me short.

Essential Elbows

Essential Elbows

Crystal Olp
identity

I was 15 and he was 16 the day he gently whispered, "Nice Elbows" as he slid past me on the grand staircase of King's Garden High School. I glanced backwards to see who would make such an odd comment. To my surprise, the eyes that met mine were the most liquid blue, kind, mischievous and twinkling eyes I had ever encountered.

That "ONE" silly, offhanded comment settled into my consciousness and etched itself onto the walls of my mind 42 years ago. Over the years, it often has brought a smirk to my face. It has also made me ultra aware of my elbows.

I have never really examined my elbows until recently. They are pretty amazing inventions.

Necklace, + Tats + Ms. T. = Sacred Moments

Necklace, + Tats + Ms. T. = Sacred Moments

Crystal Olp
identity

Silence fills her car as I drive it towards the unknown destination. It is an address on a sticky note. I am in a foreign state; unknown city; and odd place. My thoughts are like a dragonfly on steroids, zipping wildly through my brain. Unable to direct them or even pause them and too tired to care, I just let the cacophony play. Unlike a beautiful symphony, the chorus is dissident and erratic. It makes my head pound, but I can’t stop it. The vehicle reaches the destination that I was instructed to go to. Automatically, I get out of the car and hesitantly walk toward the only door in sight.

Chewing on Insulation

Chewing on Insulation

Crystal Olp
identity

He zipped past me intent on slaying some imaginary villain.  Silently, I stood observing his actions. He was completely unaware of my presence.  Costumes can come in handy, especially if there is a mask involved.  They hide one’s true identity.  When we see a child dressed up, we instantly know that they are pretending to be someone that they are not.  Truth be told, I wanted to grab a cape; don a mask and enter into his imaginary world.  But, instead I stood as still as a tombstone observing his every move.

Copy of Ever Wonder What Mordecai’s Wife Was Thinking?

Copy of Ever Wonder What Mordecai’s Wife Was Thinking?

Crystal Olp

Click on the link and have a listen.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMtLuvILnrc. Life is about choices, perspective, and surrender.  Here is the story of Esther told by Mordecai’s wife.  Both ladies could’ve chosen to view everything they faced as either roadblocks or detours to what they thought God’s plan was for their lives.  Instead, they embraced all these incidents as God rerouting their lives according to His untangled view. 

Ever Wonder What Mordecai’s Wife Was Thinking?

Ever Wonder What Mordecai’s Wife Was Thinking?

Crystal Olp

Click on the link and have a listen.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMtLuvILnrc. Life is about choices, perspective, and surrender.  Here is the story of Esther told by Mordecai’s wife.  Both ladies could’ve chosen to view everything they faced as either roadblocks or detours to what they thought God’s plan was for their lives.  Instead, they embraced all these incidents as God rerouting their lives according to His untangled view. 

You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone

Crystal Olp

Mostly naked, in a room the temperature of an ice cube tray, my body lies tightly cocooned under the soft yellow blanket.  Sleeping with both windows open, nature's morning choruses float in and slowly bring me to consciousness.  Sailing along on the crest of the song sparrow's solo, I continued drifting into and out of consciousness, not yet ready to greet the day.  Like the aftermath of an nuclear explosion, silence suddenly falls hard into the airspace and shakes me from my slumber.

The Birth of Emotional Cancer

The Birth of Emotional Cancer

Crystal Olp

In the stillness of this metal cage, I hear truth from the one who made me.  YOUR feelings and perceptions are based on lies that you have allowed the enemy of your soul to whisper in your ear.

Writing on the Walls; My Secret Addiction; and Untainted Truth

Writing on the Walls; My Secret Addiction; and Untainted Truth

Crystal Olp

What is it that God has made clear to you and you have chosen to ignore?  Maybe He hasn't written it on the wall, chalkboard, or chair but you know He is speaking untainted truth to you and you need to humble yourself and return to Him.  Why not stop right now and surrender.  He can be counted on to forgive and bathe you in His mercy and grace.

Thresholds; Invisibility Cloak; and A Precious Dove

Thresholds; Invisibility Cloak; and A Precious Dove

Crystal Olp

Stepping over the classroom threshold, my body jolts to a halt. Like a hummingbird not seeing the sliding glass door, I am thrown up against an invisible barrier. Oddly, not one ten-year-old head turns to acknowledge my entrance.  Each young participant's eyes are locked on a particular student.  There are words being released into the air, but they do not reach my ears.  She is calling on individuals, but I am momentarily deaf.

Swimming in Riptides; Unfiltered View Master Reel; and the Gift of Presence

Swimming in Riptides; Unfiltered View Master Reel; and the Gift of Presence

Crystal Olp

My mind is occupied by the bits of information I just received hours ago. Mentally, I am swimming in a strong riptide attempting to get to shore.  Like the brakes of a car skidding to a halt only inches from the unsuspecting pedestrian, my feet freeze in mid-stride.  I attempt not to run over these two precious ones who have stopped just inches in front of me.  Evidently, they are unaware that I am there.

Perpetual Purging; Constipation; and Caustin Perfectionism!

Perpetual Purging; Constipation; and Caustin Perfectionism!

Crystal Olp

My heart is a very delicate thing that must be perpetually purged of things that distract it. Therefore, I HAVE to write to purge my soul of all the feelings this journey evokes and of all the whisperings from my God.  I HAVE to write to remind myself, of His promises given to me.  I HAVE to write to allow others to know that they are not alone.  I HAVE to write because that is one of the things God made me to do.

Hijacked Feet!

Hijacked Feet!

Crystal Olp

Like an old fashioned Jack-in-the Box, whose crank has been turned one two many times, she pops up and bolts for the hall.  I follow her. Three steps in, I interrupt her escape with my words (and hand gestures).

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