All tagged The Plank-eyed girl
Life in the Rearview Mirror
Before my first encounter with this beautiful Romanian soul, I had not known much about Romania or the beautiful people who reside there. In my Creator’s infinite wisdom, He intersected our paths years ago and established a deep friendship. Often over the years, I have wondered how she was and what she was doing. Oddly, it seems that at some crucial moments throughout these last twenty plus years, God has randomly intercepted our paths again. Each time we have bumped into each other and quickly caught up, only to have time and space pull us apart again. Two weeks ago,
Simple Gestures Matter
Slipping out of my professional armour, I pull on my comfortable yoga pants, loosely layered, soft tops and a puffy black coat that some poor duck gave it’s feathers for. Slipping my feet into the neon running shoes, I head out into the blackness to wash my soul of the mind numbing busyness that I so easily slip into. There is just something about frigid temperatures; clear black nights; and crunchy ground that clears my soul.
It's Not About Size!
I come from a place of tall evergreens; large maples; and lush green forests. The place my heart calls home for nine months of the year is flanked with two majestic mountain ranges and surrounded by a salty abundance of blue water. Outdoorsy humans move to this place with daily opportunities to savor the deep colors; fragrant aromas; and stunning natural beauty. If you take a few moments and chat with the locals, they will be quick to tell you that it is not a place you land accidentally. It is a place you choose.
Stuck? What's in Your Hands?
Gently sliding out of my 1000 count Egyptian Cotton sheets, I wrestle my well-developed legs into my favorite pair of yoga pants. Quickly finishing dressing, I grab my ipad and head out the door to get some writing done before the world awakens.
I adore early Saturday mornings when the world is bathed in mist and the sun is still a promise. It is my favorite day of the week! I reserve the morning portion entirely for me and my Creator to get some writing done and the afternoon for whatever relaxing activity I bump into. I always wear my favorite yoga pants and fluorescent pink Nike tennis shoes with no socks. My top attire varies according to activity and mood. As a high-functioning Asperger adult, texture is EVERYTHING, and Saturdays I get to wear all my favorites even if they don’t need to match.
This Saturday is no different. Landing at a corner table, I set up shop and start to write. Instantly, I am distracted by a shuffling human, slowly making its way toward the coffee shop. It is frigid outside and this human looks like it might not make it to this warm environment. Returning to my task at hand, I try to ignore the niggling whisper. This human is now at the door, just about two feet from me. I look up and our eyes meet. He is just standing there.
Snowmageddon Lesson
With the effort of an elephant trudging through knee high mud combined with the determination of an Olympic athlete, I don my winter gear and step out into a once-in-a-lifetime ,Pacific Northwest Snowmageddon! I have set my goal at walking seven miles a day and I will not be detoured by twenty plus inches of snow.
Completing a few laps, the numbness has overtaken any rational reasoning and my mind is aimlessly drifting towards thoughts of warm beaches, sandy, azura blue waters and swimming with my sea creature friends.
Wild and Crazy Thoughts on Parable of the Talents
Like a 13-year-old adolescent girl, I scan the Facebook feed stopping to pursue delicious looking new recipes; family snow day or vacation photos; rants about any number of things; and my favorite writer’s blog posts. Most of these people are personal friends. I honestly care about their lives and want to be able to stay caught up. Startled by my phone buzzing, I realize that I have just lost ninety minutes of writing time. WHAT was I thinking? I know how this game works and yet, I took the bait and dropped into the land of Facebook. It’s just one click away from where I write in Squarespace. Hum…
Unexpected Enticing Fragrance
Entering from a silent white world, the warmth of home wraps itself around me. Instantly I am in a race with my internal thermometer to remove all the excess clothing that was necessary for a walk on this stunningly beautiful snowflake decorated evening. Successfully disrobed down to a thin layer, I shuffle through the kitchen. Stopping midway I am overtaken by a tantalizing fragrance.
Boobs, Butt, Lips, and Every Other Piece!
Eyes fixated on the photo, my mind races back to the event. Sixteen and well-proportioned. Ready to attend a party. My adult mind wonders what in the world I was thinking leaving the house dressed like a bunny. Sunlight dances through the studio windows as I crouch on the area rug savoring each of the photos. They each show a different moment of my childhood. Sweet silence fills this room, my sanctuary, my safe place. My mind is filled with a rapid succession of funny memories about that night. (Just for the record, I was asked to leave the school party.)
Just Show Up! - Philippians 2:4
Moving like a Tinman that still needed to be seriously greased, I methodically packed one more box. Exhaustion makes a nasty companion. Anyone else ever feel that way? Two o’clock had somehow sneaked up on us and we were still working on packing the first room. Exhausted emotionally and mentally, I stood calculating just how long this was going to take us. Silently, a small electrical shock wove its way from my wrist, up my arm, and to my numbed brain. An offer of assistance was being made from an unexpected source.
STAND, just STAND! - Ephesians 6:11
Finding itself loosed from the long imprisoned cage deep inside of my being, raw fear made its way slowing up to my heart. It perched like a gargoyle above a city taunting me to look at it. I knew just one glance would give it permission to enter and destroy the peace that reigned in my heart and mind.
Caught in an emotional hurricane, I could feel the intensity of this battle increasing by each text message that arrived. Here are a few of them, “You should’ve never created me.” Seconds later, “I want to die.” Moments after that, “I’ll be dead before the day is over anyways.”
Do this Third
See this lady? (The one on the right.) She has called out things in my life that are both gifts and things that needed to change. She has spoke life into me. She has allowed me to interrupt her life with my struggles. She has taught me to pray and believe. She has walked me into the inner sanctuary of His presence and stood nearby as He healed my heart. She wakes up and often prays for me, before I have the courage to ask for prayer. She has been a gift and blessing to me! She has also spoken to my pride issues. She is a warrior disguised as an everyday woman. I pray you have one of these kind of warriors in your life. She has taught me that this third piece is vital to not just “surviving” but being able to walk through pain, suffering, and disappointment.
Do This Second! - Zephaniah 3:17
We are in this mini series called, “No Exemptions”. If you missed the first and second post, jump on back and give it a quick read. Today, I want to share what I do second. To set the stage, here is an excerpt from my journal in October (Can I warn you, It’s not pretty): Sunday, October 28, 2018 6:33 pm
I should not put these thoughts to words. I should not put these words on my iPad. BUT, I have no more space to stuff them and them are spilling out.
I can’t breathe. No, really….I am suffocating. It’s been slowly coming this Fall, but today something snapped. I don’t really know what the last straw was. Maybe it was coming around the corner at Costco and seeing the Precious’ One’s first husband lovingly helping his son? Or, maybe it was the volatile poisonous verbal barrage I endured from a mentally ill loved one? It doesn’t matter, the pieces of tape that were so carefully holding all the pieces of my reality together, dissolved.
Do this First! - Psalms 63:7
It truly doesn’t matter what your voice sounds like! This is the truth - your song to Him will change the atmosphere! Think about the story of Paul and Silas. They sang while imprisoned. It certainly had an impact. (You can read about it in Acts 16:25-34.) I wish I could hear them.
Tongue Action - James 3:3-5
Staring at my phone, I read and reread the words, again and again. They were twisted. They were convoluted. They were taken out of context. It would take energy and time that I did not currently possess to try and untangle this massive ball of a mess. What I had tried to “clear up” just ended up making things worse. Ugh!
Cravings! - Ephesians 4:29
Cravings can be unbearable. I remember being pregnant and craving steak. It was completely overwhelming and I wanted it for every meal. Okay, I know that is strange, but I was probably lacking some vitamin. There have been other seasons when I crave sugar. Now, I can see most of you smiling! I have found many of my cravings difficult to manage
I Lied - James 5:16
I had lied. Plain and simple. Not sure why I chose to say what I did, but the truth was - I had not been honest. This wasn’t something I usually did, so it had quite the shock value to my heart. It wasn’t like there was even any good reason to say what I had said about “the towel”. It just spilled out of my mouth, like maple syrup falling over pancakes - fast and easy. Honestly, I was shocked at myself. Why? How come? I didn’t think I needed to impress her. She looked at me with a simple knowing look. You know the kind. It’s how your mom looked at you when you took the cookie out of the cookie jar and then said you didn’t. She said nothing
Cure for Anxiety
My view from “The Chair” this morning - Psalm 63:6. I don’t know if menopause is synonamous with anxiety for any of you, but it has been for me. I have lots of younger friends that struggle with anxiety, but this season of my life has brought this new friend. Yes, you heard me right, I called “Anxiety” my “Friend”. Yep, I awake pretty much at least once a night, if not more and just lie there often gripped by anxiety.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Please don’t judge me, but see that bed? Yes, that bed right there in the photo above. The one with the super soft yellow blanket? This bed is one of my favorite places to cocoon. It is a place of solitude, rest, and rejuvenation. To be honest, it is also the place I run when I am weak; overwhelmed by circumstances; reeling from grief; and desperate to hear God speak to me. Where do you run when you are facing your giants? Let’s be honest, we all have them. I know, the world says not to show our weaknesses but I’m done hiding. Here is the plain and simple truth…I am weak and so are you.